Currently,
I work in Head Start and I see children communicate with adults on a regular
basis. In one conversation, the teacher
was explaining to a three year old child that hitting was wrong. The child kept saying that “he hit me first”;
however, the teacher kept implying that hitting is wrong and it was against
school rules. In this situation, I realized
that the conversation was one sided, and the teacher was failing to
listen. Stephenson (2009) stated that “stepping
back meant not only slowing down and really listening, but also consciously
shifting my mind from the immediacy of the conversation to consider it from
other perspectives” (p. 90). The teacher never looked at the situation from the
child’s perspective. Some parents tell
children to hit back. As a result, the
teacher should have asked the child, “What should you do if someone hits you?” This would have given the child a chance to
further the conversation. In this case,
I believe the teacher insulted the child and made the child feel ashamed and
threatened. I do not like it when
teachers do not consider the child’s feelings and stick hard to the rules. Sometimes, you have to hear the child out and
find out why the behavior started.
References
Stephenson,
A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.
Debra,
ReplyDeleteYour post is really relevant today. I always told my own children to not hit and make friends. Well, they always got hurt and the other child walked away. Later, we decided that you should defend yourself. Once my daughter started defending herself, there were less fights. Sometimes rules can be modified to suit the environment of the classroom.
Hi Debra,
ReplyDeleteLike you said, though the child said the other child hit him first, the teacher could have taken the time to listen and talk to him. I would have said, I am sorry to hear that, though he hit you first, what other ways could we have taken care of it.
A lot of times, my own young ones would hit and the child would come to me. Usually can approach both and sit both down and have the child explain how it feels when "Johnny" hits him. More than likely the children says it hurts I tell them I am sorry they hit you and explain to the child, to let "Johnny" know you do not like it and not to hit you again. I would sometimes follow by it, by saying, I do not like when you hurt my friends, it makes them sad and it makes me sad.
Debra,
ReplyDeleteI work in a preschool program and this situation has occured numerous times. You are exactly right - some children are taught to hit back. The adult was not really listening to what the child was trying to say. I feel this gave the child the impression that his/her feelings were not important. I like how you suggested what the adult could have asked the child. We want to help children think critically and learn how to problem solve. I feel we as teachers need to really listen to children, and then help build on their existing knowledge.
This is such a great insight. We have to stop to listen to what children are saying. We have to stop ourselves from carrying assumptions about what is happening and really take the time to listen.
ReplyDelete